Ok, so it seems there is a theme of long spells of time between posts going on here. But tbh i am not sure many people read this anyway and it is more for me to rant/wax lyrical/talk to myself anyway, so i suppose large gaps don't matter too much.
An awful lot has happened since my last post. My last post was when i was 24 weeks pregnant - and now we have a 6 month old daughter!! Wow. Where does time go?
So yes, we got there. We now have our beautiful, funny, tiny little rainbow who is so full of character it practically bursts out of her. We didn't quite get to full term, as surprise surprise pre eclampsia raised its ugly head again. But this time we knew what we were looking for, and Iris was born by c section on 10th october 2012. Just 4 weeks early this time and weighing a tiny 4lb 10oz. And i got to hold her almost straight away, and she fed amazingly well (and carries on doing. She is what you may call a boob monster). We had a little stay in hospital as she was so tiny and had had some growth problems in the last few weeks but the c section went so so so much better this time, and i didn't actually care where i was this time, as my baby was with me and not in a seperate unit full of tubes and wires.
She looked amazingly like her brother, but the bigger she gets the more she looks like me. Though certain expressions she have make her look JUST like her daddy. I try not to think too much about whether Isaac would have been the same as her, whether he would have had the same personality etc. But sometimes its inevitable that i do.
We had a very up and down start, with her losing weight and having a few problems. But then we got the news that she has cystic fibrosis. Apparently we were both carriers without ever knowing. So she is indeed a very special little girl. As we always knew she would be. Again, it makes me wonder if Isaac had it too. It would probably have been picked up if he did, but it is a thought there in the back of my mind still.
So yes, our rainbow is here. She is currently playing on her playgym and looking over at me to check i am still here. She knows her own mind very well, and is quite stubborn. She has a definite drama queen aura about her and will fling her head and arms back in such dismay if she doesn't get what she wants.
It has been a steep learning curve for us both, and we are still learning and will be for a long time i think.
We have learnt that we don't actually need as much sleep as we thought.
We have learnt that however tired we are, a smile from Iris makes everything instantly happier.
We have learnt that our bed is not necesarily just ours, and Iris takes up a larger amount of space than her size would have you believe.
We have learnt that things don't go smoothly even when you have your baby there in your arms, and there can still be a curveball that smacks you in the face when you least expect it.
We have learnt an awful lot about cystic fibrosis, when i thought i knew a fair bit anyway. I was wrong!
We have learnt that there is still a gaping hole where Isaac should be, but that Iris has done a pretty amazing job at papering over the cracks.
We have learnt that our hearts can hold so much love, so much more than i would have ever thought possible. For both our children.
We have learnt that life is utterly crap at times, and sometimes you have to just carry on and work through the crappiness.
We have learnt who our good friends are, and that our families our amazing.
We have a lot of learning yet to do.
She does not sleep great, before you ask. It seems to be the first question most people ask. And i never know how to answer the question 'Is she a good baby?'. Define 'good'. She is bloody amazing if you ask me. She is like a whole other person, in miniature. And she grew inside me. I still look at her in awe and wonder how the hell us two made such an adorable being. But good? Huh? She isn't bad. I don't think a 6 month old baby knows how to be bad do they?
She doesn't like to be put down much. She doesn't like to play on her own much. She likes a lot of input. But hey, she is a baby. And if i can't give her all my attention now then when can i? She is already growing up too fast for my liking and before long i will have to chase her around the house for cuddles. At least now they are freely and happily given.
So 4 pregnancies later, we finally have our take home baby. She is not Isaac. She is not Isaac's replacement. But she is Isaac's little sister and she is a very special person in her own right. And she has so much love surrounding her, from us and from family and from friends.
I said 2012 would be a better year didn't i. And i was so right!! And so i will say here and now that 2013 is going to be a good year too. It is. And we deserve it. I don't care if we have had one good year (albeit still with ups and downs). We deserve another, and we will have it. 2013 will be the year we celebrate our daughter's first birthday, the year we celebrate our son's 3rd birthday and the year we get married - eeeeekkk!! It will also be the first time we take Iris out in Penelope (the folding camper). Double eeek!!!
