Well tbh 2011 was meant to be our year, and i don't know who exactly it was out there that pinched my good year but someone certainly did!! I hope you enjoyed it. 2010 was good and bad. I was pregnant with Isaac, that was good - very good. I had my beautiful baby boy and that was bad and good. And then after a 20 days of being his mummy he died, and our whole world fell apart.
We have slowly started rebuilding our world, and it's never going to be like it was before. It is built with a great huge gaping hole in it. But it is being rebuilt. We are learning how to carry on without Isaac. He will always be part of us, but it is hard him not being here and will continue to be hard.
So 2011 was meant to be the good year. But someone stole it. They must have done because we have had a shit year. Our cat died. He was my smile maker, he made me smile when no person could and then he died just when i really needed him. We lost our first little bean in march 2011 after a very up and down shortlived pregnancy, and we then lost our second little bean in August around the time of Isaacs birthday. Life is just simply not fair. We have since found out we have a fairly high chance of this happening again as my body doesn't seem to be able to work like other womens bodies do. But we are eventually getting the care and medical help we need so we are hoping and praying that 2012 is most definitely OUR YEAR!! Have you seen this everyone, no stealing my good year, lol. I am willing to share, but please, please don't take all the good stuff. Leave some for us. We need it. We really really need it.
So goodbye 2011. You brought some good things from bad, you helped me to help others by getting publicity about pregnancy problems and babyloss in the local papers and in the sun, you helped me to share with medical professionals with SANDS how to help make the horrific time your baby dies as less horrific as possible. But i will not miss you.
Welcome 2012, i am ready for you!
